The World in Me

I don't really know if I have changed much, per say this year. Even though we have only been here barely a month, it feels like years. On the weekend when I go home it fells like a alternate life. Like I am two people. I am the student and I am the daughter. I used to be so close to my family, now I fear we are drifting apart. Each day is exactly the same, and yet completely different in its own way. I fell tired and worn all the time now. The weekends at home seem like a haven; it is a time when I can just be by myself. My roomate and I get along pretty well, but still I just want to have time to myself. No matter where I go someone I know is always right behide me. There is no true escape at school because there are people everywhere. Its never quiet, whether it be 6 in the morning or 12 at night, there is a steady buzz and whisper of noise. Not that it is a bod thing, sometimes I get afriad when the silence is too long or sullen. I guess I've learned that I am a very private person, we others are naturally social creatures I tend to choose the solitude.

When and where to study...

My favorite place to study is the third floor in the library. The library is always quiet and I feel like I'm all alone in the world. This is the polar opposite of how I feel in study hall. Everyone is so loud and I can't use a computer. Even though most my homework is electronical, I don't have a working lap-top so I am forced to spend eight hours a week in the study room not doing anything, then leave and do homework. Noise doesn't really bother me that much though. I am used to it being loud at my house in High School. I just can't stand people getting up and walking in and out constantly. In the library you just have space to think and the computer on the third floor is always open. Today I skipped study hall and went in there. I bet I got more done in Mickel in one hour than my two and a half hours of study hall.

The Day no Lie was told

To be perfectly honest, I consider myself to be a pretty truthful person. That doesn't mean I go around being mean to everyone, telling them off we they get me angry or depressed. I have a sense of empathy and more often than not I keep my issues inside. Rarely does a lie pass my lips and if it does so happen to occur one day, it is most inconspicuously done without thought. I lie will pass my lips without my approve and clearly with no judgement to support it's deceit. So this day of honest wasn't so much a challenge. If anything it proceeded without thought or interuption like the day before it. No extra motivation was given to the fact that this day I could not tell a lie. It was nature that I would not lie, because it was my costum to remain quiet when a nontruth should approve my mind. Even though no lie was said out loud, it is very hard to suppress the mind. Though I uttered not a single sin, in my soul I knew what I wanted to say and I knew that I must not say it because it was the day in Converse 101 in which the "truth" was our homework.
Honest and integrity can be consitered synonyms of each other. The importance of these words are placed in the values of the individuals who precieve them. One would hope a college student would uphold "honesty" and "integrity" to a high level, but that is not always the case. There will always be the cheater, the lair, the apathic, and all so called "evil doers". In realization I am all these things at some point and I'm sure you are to, but the reason why intregity is important is becasue it helps to drag ourselves out of the our bad qualities. Integrity makes the adverage person strive for something more. We all need to strive for turth sometimes in order to reset our values and minds.

What if...first semester

My first semester in college I didn't know what to expect. There is a certain paradox in thinking at home what life would be like without the comforts of home. I asked myself alot of personal questions like, "Will their be alot of drama, especially in an all girls school?", "Will I have any true time to myself?", but most importantly "Will I become consumitively home sick?". I don't have all the answers just yet, but I feel that I can now create an acturate assesment of the furture semester. I see alot of homework in my future. It feels strange to know that school is now your life, your top priority, when before life was so much mixed activity. Being on the cross country team in Converse College, running is a huge part of the day. In fact, it consumes hours of a schedele already on the brick of super nova. It has been over a week of class and three weeks of running, but I think I finally had a epiphony. Time will simple go on, there is no stopping it. Practice and classes all have a beginning and all have an end. Its not so much what I expect of converse, but what it expects of me. In the mean time I'll do the homework, run, and learn and maybe I will enjoy every minute of it. Maybe I won't....but lets be optomistic here.